Pretty porn


Just recently I had the occasion to be in a waiting room.  As usual, there were the obligatory stacks of old publications sitting around for us to read.  There were the old Cosmo mags touting various ways a woman can be sexually satisfied and also how she might satisfy a man.  Then there were the Men’s Health mags bombarding us with various answers for erectile disfunction and enhanced sexual performance.  As I looked around I started thinking about how much we are bombarded by what I call “pretty porn”.

I began to think about how the tolerance for sexually charged advertising and access to sexually charged themes has changed.  It is difficult to turn on the TV, watch a video, read a publication or listen to music and not be bombarded by sexually oriented themes.  Over the years I have watched the media incrementally legitimize and in some cases dramatize behaviors that are patently dangerous and destructive.

Sexual affairs are not romantic.  They are exploitive and destroy families.  The average life expectancy for a prostitute is 34 years…Nothing glamorous about that.  Many studies have shown reduced life expectancy among gay and lesbian people with both increased health risks as well as increased risks for suicide.  Yet this kind of lifestyle is glamorized and presented as “normal” while feeding a kid a “Happy Meal” is demonized and characterized as “destructive”.  To be clear, I don’t think that there is anything particularly healthy about a Happy meal, but I also don’t think that there is anything particularly healthy or advantageous about pornography… no matter how pretty it looks.

While some of the visual presentations might be termed “tasteful” it still amounts to exploiting the human body to sell entertainment, advertising or anything else.  Let’s face it, sex sells.  It always has and it always will…so long as it is legitimized.  What was once relegated to smoke filled back rooms only 40-50 years ago is now readily visible on family channels during primetime.

So back to the waiting room…while I was ruminating about all this I reached out to grab the Newsweek that was sitting on the table next to me.  As I leafed through the publication I unexpectedly ran across an article by Leslie Bennetts about buying sex.  All this was getting too weird.

As I was beginning to read the article I was amazed to read the following statement:

…. buying sex is so pervasive that Farley’s team (the researching team) had a shockingly difficult time locating men who really don’t do it.  The use of pornography, phone sex, lap dances and other services has become so widespread that the researchers were forced to loosen their definition in order to assemble a 100 person control group.

“We had big, big trouble finding nonusers.”  Farley says, “We finally had to settle on a definition of the non-sex-buyers as men who have not been to a strip club more than two times in the past year, have not purchased a lap dance, have not used pornography more than one time in the last month and have not purchased phone sex or the services of a sex worker, escort, erotic masseuse or prostitute.”

The article goes on to say that many experts now believe that with the proliferation of sexually themed services, many men do not see erotic massages, strip clubs or lap dances as forms of prostitution.  In other words, this kind of behavior is seen as “normal”.  Since when is making humans a commodity considered “normal”?

Here is where the rubber meets the road.  Those in the sex industry will frame the argument in terms of making sex or entertainment the commodity that is sold.  Unfortunately, that is not true.  Sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum.  It involves people.  In order to make a sexually explicit video, people must be exploited.  In order to make a sexy commercial, people must be involved… would Victoria’s Secret do an hour program showing lingerie sitting on a table?  Hello????  People must be exploited in order to sell the sizzle.

If this were not bad enough, think about this.  How many models were turned down for a spot on those commercials?  How many people did the production crew go through to find just the right person to sell their product?   Probably hundreds… even thousands  were considered, but were turned down because they were not what the company wanted to project.  When we stop to think about all this, we would readily concede that this was probably the case… hands down.

If this is true, then the person wearing the product makes the product not the other way around.  Wow!  Where does that leave the rest of us when some of the best of the best are not good enough to show off the product?  I’ll tell you.  We will spend thousands of dollars on these kinds of lures because we have bought into the deception that underwear somehow makes us a better person.  Underwear.  The stuff you wear under your clothing that mostly no one sees but you.  It is ridiculous.

To take this one step further, any sexually charged theme uses the same deception and the same hook… which is, “this can be you”.  It allows you to live vicariously through another person or persons.  Porn seizes the opportunity to step in and draws you to instantly experience in some measure, that base sensual desire for power, recognition, appreciation, attention, respect or satisfaction.  Except it isn’t real.  Deep down we all know it isn’t real, but it’s there and it’s available for the taking.  We have traded the reality we could experience in our lives through Christ for that of an avatar.

An Avatar is a Hindu term for a descending deity and is characterized as an incarnation often associated with Vishnu… of which these incarnations are innumerable.  It comes from the root word meaning to “cross over”.

While the movie and internet applications have made this word seem rather glamorous, make no mistake, it is a demonic alternate identity.

Pornography takes us away from our identity as children of God and lures us into the false identity of an objectified avatar.  While promising real world satisfaction, we are left to abandoning our avatar and returning to the real world.  As we continue our escape to our preferred fantasy, that fantasy becomes our preferred but totally deceptive reality.  If continued, the plans and purposes of God for our lives; our destiny and that of our marriage and family; and our eternal place with God our father will have been exchanged for an avatar…an empty fantasy.

Which begs the question… why would someone or something work so hard counterfeiting something if there wasn’t a powerful reality in accessing the real thing?  Get the real thing.  Get Jesus.  Lay hold of the spiritual reality that is yours for the taking.  If you are struggling with this kind of battle in your life, make yourself accountable to someone and seek help for your addiction.  It will not get better until you do.  Don’t trade your potential in Christ for a bag of beans.

About The 5 Stone Builder

Dion Boffo is the founder of Heritage Builders International.
This entry was posted in Christian Living, Pornography and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Pretty porn

  1. It is tragic that many, many people are not happy with how God has created them. Yes, we need to be heathy, fit, and in balance physically BUT also spiritually. The younger generation is being duped in low self image, low life style, low expectations, etc. Prayer is so important but so is taking a stand against the “acceptance” of a life threatening world!

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